McGriddle fanfic

After a friend alerted me to this Lawrence Welk fan fiction website, I got to thinking about a couple things. First, I thought about how my uncle recently told me that he frequently watches Lawrence Welk reruns with my grandparents. Then I remembered how my dad used to watch the show a lot, too. Then I thought about how I have like four Welk albums, and how they are really good (later today I will add a song to this post, in place of this parenthetical remark. edit: never happened. plus I was thinking of James Last, not Welk… whoops.).

Second, I thought about fan fiction, and how I like fan fiction and should probably write some. My most recent (Jan. 15, 2008) foray into it was some McGriddle fanfic, posted on the McGriddle fanfic livejournal community. Here is what I wrote:

For the Love of the McGriddle The crowd roared, but I just smirked, the moment Brandon Roy brought down his slam dunk. It was his second tomahawk dunk of the night, but this one was, unarguably, superior to the first: it brought the team to 101 points, and that meant everyone in the crowd won a free chalupa. I smirked because I didn’t care about free chalupas. Plus I wasn’t even in the crowd anyway. I was in bed at home, watching the game on my plasma TV. I’d stockpiled a dozen McGriddles in the cooler next to my bed. This was definitely the right occasion to pull out one and munch down. Heck, any occasion is right for a McGriddle. Sometimes I walk out of my bathroom, spy my cooler, and am like, dang I’m totally gonna get down with a McGriddle right now. And I do, and it’s great. I think I’d start actually going to the games if they gave out free McGriddles after 100 points. But I was telling my main McGriddite Josh the other day that I doubt the stadium would give out McGriddles unless the game was a morning game. And there aren’t really morning games in basketball. But there probably should be, if only for the opportunity for free McGriddle. But then Josh said, “I bet I’d probably go to games if they gave out free McSkillets.” And I was like, damn it Josh, shut up. But then he looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Don’t even talk, because McGriddles are awesome breakfast food, and you’re taking advantage of them by eating them all the time. You gotta keep it sacred. You gotta keep it real.” And I thought about it for a second, thinking maybe he was right. Maybe I’m devaluing them by eating them so much. But then I looked down, like I often do, at my cooler, and I felt so happy inside. I can’t help it: I love having a stockpile of McGriddles by my side, and I hope that feeling never fades.

Fan fiction comes with pre-made characters that are already real and full of emotions, and with a built-in fan base. I need to find a subject, and then steal that subject and then force it into compromising positions that the regular writers would never imagine. At the moment there’s a massive Golden Girls project happening at my pad, and so I think that’s probably where I’ll start.

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