McGriddle Defense: Selected Short Works about the Breakfast Sandwich

illo

I'll say this.

This is the website for "McGriddle Defense: Selected Short Works about the Breakfast Sandwich." McGriddle Defense is a fanzine that's been written in a fantastical manner by fans (at least theoretically) of both fiction and McGriddles. This website's post-righteous purpose is to supply interesting people with information about the 'zine (no borings allowed! haha). Click the layers of the sandwich to evoke the information (helpful hint: click this displayed window to hide it, before exploring the next layer, please). One layer - the beef - includes a sample of what you will read in the 'zine.

For some reasons that I don't even think I could try to explain, the McGriddle has for years been a source of creative inspiration for many. For evidence of this, check out the livejournal community, McGriddle fanfic. Or, as Ben points out, just look at the wikipedia entry for an example of the poetics the breakfast sandwich can evoke: "The 'standard' variant of the McGriddles sandwiches consists of bacon, egg and American cheese served on a small pancake injected with maple flavoring deep inside its griddle folds." (Yeah, I know - I could have written that myself... but I didn't, I swear.)

The title of the 'zine is an allusion to the Twinkie Defense - that idea evoked by Dan White's lawyers to explain his warped state of mind, as a result of eating too many Twinkies, when he killed Harvey Milk and George Moscone. McGriddle Defense is an example of what can happen under the influence of (the idea of) McGriddles... in a world where murder is prohibited and everyone abides by the law.

This collection contains a variety of genres, formats, and ideas. There's complicated poetry, various strands of fiction (such as slash, cyberpunk, and a choose your own adventure), a cross stitch, comics, tips, and more.

McGriddle Defense is $3 (it was free the first round, but my printing costs went up 6x for the second round. Price is negotiable if necessary, and trades are encouraged.). Look to the right for information on how to obtain it (in short: send me an email with your address). In addition, everyone will appreciate feedback on stuff. So senda message.

Update! Here's the entire 'zine in PDF form.

Sample

Hey, here's a sample segment from the 'zine. Enjoy!

User Submitted Re-Griddles!

So - background - we were just sitting around talking about McGriddles the other day. Suddenly out of nowhere one mega-McGriddle fan whose name, for the sake of this piece, shall remain unknown blurted out, "Woah, somehow I didn't even notice that the McDonald's "M" is branded onto each McGriddle.... what the heck?!" "Hey," probably the funniest guy in the room retorted, "you must have ate them too fast to notice!"

We cracked up and all over that, but the whole thing also got us at McGriddle Defense HQ thinking. Our thoughts: Foods that have been griddled with shapes and stuff are cool. I wonder what other griddled foods there are? Oh man! I wonder what other things could be griddled onto McGriddles!?"

So McGriddle Defense decided to have a little contest. We challenged fans to send us "Re-Griddled" McGriddles. But, wait, this was no ordinary contest! In this particular contest, there were no winners and no losers. We don't like that competition-type stuff. So we designated all the contestants as "users." Also, this way we didn't have to give anyone prizes. So, pretty unorthodox for a contest, eh? That's just how we do it!

Anyway, the rules were simple. We won't even type them here, they were so simple. What follows are some of the great user submitted brands!

Dharma Initiative McGriddle

Submitted by Brian Reynolds, Pomona, CA

Brian says: "Lost is my favorite TV show. Ever. I thought wouldn't it be cool to brand the Dharma Initiative logo on a McGriddle? So I did it. I know at least Hurley would appreciate some Dharma McGriddle! Of course, the Dharma Initiative supplied some pretty righteous food to the island, anyway. But still, sometimes you just want to junk out on a McGriddle, right?. Good luck in Season 6, guys!"

Dharma McGriddle

Jesus Is Crucified McGriddle

Submitted by Lois Satterfield, Orlando, FL

Lois writes: "My friends are always going on about how mind-blowing it would be to accidentally grill up a Jesus grilled cheese sandwich, or to look outside one morning only to find Mary in your window frosting, and so on. And I always say whatever, I'm sick of looking for things that aren't there! I'm too old these days to spend my time staring at the grills in my sandwich. So I whipped up this Jesus crucifixion McGriddle and then snuck it in my friend Marg's lunch bag. She freaked out, let me tell you! But I couldn't not laugh my head off at her, and so I gave myself away. RIP Jesus. p.s. I hope I win this contest."

McCrucify

Obama McGriddle

Submitted by Semjase Brinkman, NYC

Sem says: "Obama's not only our awesome president, he's a freaking icon, no doubt. This is my shout-out to him. 4 more years, y'all!"

obama mcgriddle

McGriddle McGriddle

Submitted by David Corno, Oberlin, OH

David writes: "I don't know how else to describe this. Basically it's a McGriddle mcgriddled onto a McGriddle. I'm sure you'll hate it."

McGriddle McGriddle

Okay, thanks everyone! Additionally, if you'd like to be a user like these great folks, submit your re-griddled McGriddles to McGriddle Defense HQ, and we'll post them on the site.

I'll say this.

It looks like this

Sample

User Submitted Re-Griddles!

Also, look at this!!

Look at this!

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